Embittered & Broke

The worst part of being unemployed is the money, & lack of it! But money alone is not what causes the bitterness. It’s not having any when you need it the most, and the worst time of all is when your children miss out! It doesn’t cost much to make a child happy, they don’t actually want for much, but as a parent you want to give them everything & when you can’t it hurts, and that’s when the bitterness creeps in!

It’s amazing how acutely aware you suddenly become of what others have, of what you need to give up to buy them a treat, and then there are birthdays!!

The following poem, Cars, was written during a moment of this bitterness. My son’s birthday was approaching & as much as I wanted to spoil him I was also aware that my daughters would follow 6 weeks later. Needless to say I got past his but my daughters is nearly on us & I am still struggling to make ends meet. 

Cars

Sunk in my armchair

I stare from the gloom

The never-ending sound

Of cars that drift on

With minds on the road

And eyes straight ahead

Cash register for mileage

Ching ching in their head

If stripped of the clothing

Are we all just the same

We want to be them

To be part of this game

And the cars that drift on

With their badges of wealth

These tokens of greatness

Much better than mine

Once I was part

Of this greed that we want

But now I am nothing

Someone that just hopes

My boys birthdays coming

How much would it cost

To bring smiles to his face

Without knowing the loss

Yet who will suffer

As my daughter is next

And kids have no boundaries

When friends have the best

And people with money

Now scorn on my life

To some I’m a scrounger

Whilst dodging tax with their perks

Those LLP people

Who employ mystery wives

And lie on their tax bills

To hoard cash for their lives

A tenner for cleaning

An old boys flat

Buys cake for my kids

As a one off treat

Yet who is more guilty

Of conning the state

As I sit in my armchair

And cars drive on past…..

In time I will let you know how it goes & what was sacrificed for it to happen, but that’s another blog……………………….

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7 Responses to “Embittered & Broke”

  1. life is sometimes downright unfair.

    we just have to gather the courage to face it.

    days will change soon for better.

    best of luck.

  2. i can so relate…have been working part time for the last 14 months after losing my job…i understand the struggle and the tension…but this too shall pass…learning to live on less will make you appreciate the more if it ever comes and if not you still appreciate it.

    nice verse. question, what emotion were you trying to stir with you writing. just wondering.

    saw you at moondust and thought i would pop over and peruse…

  3. I wish you, your family and your art the very best of luck. 🙂

  4. moondustwriter Says:

    I’m feeling it Pete and glad you are writing.
    CHEERS!!!!

  5. frabbits Says:

    My most memorable Christmas as a youngster was during a particularly rough year for my family. The only two presents under the tree were one for my sister and one for me; Easter dresses my mom had sewn for us.

    I’m not religious, and I’m not wealthy…and I’m no stranger to feeling bitter…but I have a good family.

    Your kids do, too.

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