Delores

I saw a rook

that danced alone

his feathers aired

on funerals pyre.

I let its kaah

run through my mind

as jackals laughed

at ones desire.

And on a brooch

a silly thing

that gleamed and spoke

and wanted me,

and as a jay

swooped far below

the cannons roared

as traffic flowed.

So like the rook

I gently swayed

but saw it fall

and die that day.

Yet from the ash

no phoenix came

just blackened dust

that cast no name.

And so the horse,

its regal plume,

on cobbled stones

would carry till

a journeys end,

as gathered clans

would drop their heads

and mask their shame.

But no one breaths

and no one moves

they stand in time

bereft of grief.

And then the jackal

will slowly turn

and with the Jay

will bid goodbye.…..

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64 Responses to “Delores”

  1. a rather chilling poem today…durn jackal…smiles.

  2. following you now on twitter…

    • cheers Brian at least i can try & keep up with your postings now! And thanks for the comments must admit I am enjoying this series as it really does let the mind explore a different genre…cheers Pete

  3. moondustwriter Says:

    can feel peril and death

    nicely done!!!

  4. brilliant.
    For me that second verse was perfection.
    Thats the point where i really got into the poem

    • perfection is a word I like but not one I’m used too!!! So cheers for that but now you’ve got me thinking about the 1st verse!! LOL

      • i just read it again.
        And i still hold to what i said.
        You’ve got a good poem here.
        You dont need to worry about the first verse.
        lol

      • thanks again for the revisit…been away for a break with the kids & got a lot of catching up to do, posting new stuff and visiting others..amazing what you can achieve with a few cans of stella lol

  5. wow! you sure know how to tell a story.

  6. This is amazing! I really enjoyed it, well done! Another story teller poet 🙂

  7. neat story lines!
    thank you for the participation!

  8. beautiful it is .. !

  9. wow, that is beautiful!

  10. So like the rook

    I gently swayed

    but saw it fall

    and die that day.

    Yet from the ash

    no phoenix came

    just blackened dust

    that cast no name.
    ~~~I like this part the best. This was dark and deep and intriguing.

  11. bryliejane Says:

    Told a very dark story, filled my mind with black images….very intense. Love your words. Amazing xx

  12. nicely done 🙂 great poem and story..i like it! 😀

  13. Beautiful and dark at the same time.

  14. More to come? WOW..
    I really like the last three lines..

  15. The third stanza did it for me:) Its quite a dark poem, but the references to the brooch (and of course the rook’s kaah) gave it a real sense of light and shade. Nice work.

  16. I agree with kseverny, the second half is where I get pulled in. Somehow this reminds of the Albatross poem full of doom. Nicely written!

  17. mairmusic Says:

    In the tradition of the ballads of the ancient bards– you have a lovely flow to the words.
    http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

  18. let me know after you are done with 12 blogs visiting!
    thank you.

  19. whoa!
    that’s nicely woven :))
    you are so awesome ^_^

  20. Agree with K and Michele—and looking forward to reading the series. Thanks

  21. I love this poem, the imagery and the sound effects add beauty to the well chosen words.well done pete.

  22. Intriguing piece, I esp. liked this part:

    Yet from the ash

    no phoenix came

    just blackened dust

    that cast no name.

    I’m here from Jingle’s rally, check me out if you feel like it

  23. This poem is TOO POWERFUL and it has a fantastic delivery.

    A poem I’d love you to read:

    http://ediomoudofia.blogspot.com/2010/04/gratitude-amidst-agony.html

  24. you have not been writing any thing? 😦

  25. Great indeed. Nice choice of words.

  26. a lovely poem, rich in sound effects and vivid imagery.well done sir!

  27. I like it! Freakin cool for sure.

    -bryan

  28. moondustwriter Says:

    the only thing missing – an eiry moon

    Lol

  29. My dear Peter,

    We started a new story this week, help us finish it? I am TAGGING YOU.. please go to Wordy Wednesday @Tara Miller Writes to write the next 1-3 lines to a story yet told! Once you have done that, please TAG others too. Happy Thursday. hugs shakira

  30. http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/05/yes-i-can-handle-it.html

    my post for the Poets’ Rally is here.
    thanks for reading it.

  31. check your spam box…
    thank you for the support.

  32. Although I don’t read poetry often, I must admit that I am overwhelmed at the sheer flair that you evoke emotion from the deepest of my psyche.

    Are you a fan of Iron Maiden? Waiting to see you come out as a full fledged poet,

    • Hi Amiya & thanks for popping over and reading it…if you liked this the next piece, The Jackal, has now been published so please read that too.

      Glad its intensity had an effect…..cheers Pete

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