Delores
I saw a rook
that danced alone
his feathers aired
on funerals pyre.
–
I let its kaah
run through my mind
as jackals laughed
at ones desire.
–
And on a brooch
a silly thing
that gleamed and spoke
and wanted me,
and as a jay
swooped far below
the cannons roared
as traffic flowed.
–
So like the rook
I gently swayed
but saw it fall
and die that day.
Yet from the ash
no phoenix came
just blackened dust
that cast no name.
–
And so the horse,
its regal plume,
on cobbled stones
would carry till
a journeys end,
as gathered clans
would drop their heads
and mask their shame.
–
But no one breaths
and no one moves
they stand in time
bereft of grief.
–
And then the jackal
will slowly turn
and with the Jay
will bid goodbye.…..
April 27, 2010 at 3:09 pm
a rather chilling poem today…durn jackal…smiles.
April 27, 2010 at 4:07 pm
following you now on twitter…
April 28, 2010 at 8:10 am
cheers Brian at least i can try & keep up with your postings now! And thanks for the comments must admit I am enjoying this series as it really does let the mind explore a different genre…cheers Pete
April 27, 2010 at 6:14 pm
can feel peril and death
nicely done!!!
April 28, 2010 at 8:09 am
I can feel peril & death – nicely done!! Is that an oxymoron? LOL
April 28, 2010 at 8:03 am
brilliant.
For me that second verse was perfection.
Thats the point where i really got into the poem
April 28, 2010 at 8:08 am
perfection is a word I like but not one I’m used too!!! So cheers for that but now you’ve got me thinking about the 1st verse!! LOL
May 4, 2010 at 8:19 am
i just read it again.
And i still hold to what i said.
You’ve got a good poem here.
You dont need to worry about the first verse.
lol
May 4, 2010 at 9:51 am
thanks again for the revisit…been away for a break with the kids & got a lot of catching up to do, posting new stuff and visiting others..amazing what you can achieve with a few cans of stella lol
April 28, 2010 at 3:42 pm
wow! you sure know how to tell a story.
April 28, 2010 at 6:01 pm
thanks trisha – lets see where the next part will go!
April 28, 2010 at 3:43 pm
This is amazing! I really enjoyed it, well done! Another story teller poet 🙂
April 28, 2010 at 6:02 pm
Hi shan & thanks for your comments, if you like this read the whole series and start from the first…..cheers Pete
April 28, 2010 at 6:49 pm
[…] https://petemarshall1.wordpress.com/2010/04/27/delores/ […]
April 28, 2010 at 6:51 pm
neat story lines!
thank you for the participation!
April 29, 2010 at 6:42 am
not at all & love what you do with these rally’s well done
April 28, 2010 at 8:23 pm
beautiful it is .. !
May 10, 2010 at 8:00 am
thanks & glad you liked it
April 28, 2010 at 8:48 pm
wow, that is beautiful!
May 10, 2010 at 8:00 am
thanks for taking the time to read it
April 29, 2010 at 1:27 am
So like the rook
I gently swayed
but saw it fall
and die that day.
Yet from the ash
no phoenix came
just blackened dust
that cast no name.
~~~I like this part the best. This was dark and deep and intriguing.
April 29, 2010 at 5:22 am
yes very…but left to guess as there is more to come!!!
April 29, 2010 at 6:33 am
Told a very dark story, filled my mind with black images….very intense. Love your words. Amazing xx
April 29, 2010 at 6:42 am
thanks …..dont forget this is part of an ongoing series… cheers Pete
April 29, 2010 at 9:05 am
nicely done 🙂 great poem and story..i like it! 😀
May 10, 2010 at 8:01 am
thanks for reading it & commenting cheers Pete
April 29, 2010 at 10:11 am
Beautiful and dark at the same time.
May 10, 2010 at 8:02 am
glad you liked it & it was well received, cheers Pete
April 29, 2010 at 10:21 am
More to come? WOW..
I really like the last three lines..
May 10, 2010 at 8:03 am
Hi shakira yep more to come, and written…see the Jackal
April 29, 2010 at 2:20 pm
The third stanza did it for me:) Its quite a dark poem, but the references to the brooch (and of course the rook’s kaah) gave it a real sense of light and shade. Nice work.
May 10, 2010 at 8:04 am
thanks for some fine critique..cheers Pete
April 29, 2010 at 4:21 pm
I agree with kseverny, the second half is where I get pulled in. Somehow this reminds of the Albatross poem full of doom. Nicely written!
May 10, 2010 at 8:05 am
Hi Michele, thanks for your fine comments..have written the next piece now…see the Jackal
April 29, 2010 at 4:40 pm
In the tradition of the ballads of the ancient bards– you have a lovely flow to the words.
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
May 10, 2010 at 8:05 am
i liked that comment…thankyou
April 29, 2010 at 6:01 pm
let me know after you are done with 12 blogs visiting!
thank you.
April 29, 2010 at 7:47 pm
whoa!
that’s nicely woven :))
you are so awesome ^_^
May 10, 2010 at 8:07 am
thanks, good praise that encourages me to do more
April 29, 2010 at 8:36 pm
Agree with K and Michele—and looking forward to reading the series. Thanks
May 10, 2010 at 8:07 am
next part is out Dustus…see The Jackal
April 29, 2010 at 9:29 pm
I love this poem, the imagery and the sound effects add beauty to the well chosen words.well done pete.
May 4, 2010 at 9:46 am
some great comments …thanks
April 30, 2010 at 10:57 am
Intriguing piece, I esp. liked this part:
Yet from the ash
no phoenix came
just blackened dust
that cast no name.
I’m here from Jingle’s rally, check me out if you feel like it
May 4, 2010 at 9:47 am
actually that was one of my favourite parts, cheers Pete
May 1, 2010 at 9:48 pm
This poem is TOO POWERFUL and it has a fantastic delivery.
A poem I’d love you to read:
http://ediomoudofia.blogspot.com/2010/04/gratitude-amidst-agony.html
May 4, 2010 at 9:48 am
Hi & thanks for the commens,
May 2, 2010 at 7:55 am
3 poetry awards,
2 friendship award…
Happy Sunday!
May 4, 2010 at 9:49 am
thank you thank you thank you, cheers Ji
May 3, 2010 at 9:33 am
you have not been writing any thing? 😦
May 4, 2010 at 9:49 am
Hi Trisha, dont worry, been writing just not posting, will be catching up this week…cheers Pete
May 3, 2010 at 10:49 pm
Great indeed. Nice choice of words.
May 4, 2010 at 2:53 pm
Happy May,
Happy Tuesday!
sharp observations!
May 4, 2010 at 6:38 pm
a lovely poem, rich in sound effects and vivid imagery.well done sir!
May 4, 2010 at 6:42 pm
thanks again
May 5, 2010 at 6:55 pm
I like it! Freakin cool for sure.
-bryan
May 10, 2010 at 8:08 am
cheers Bryan
May 6, 2010 at 1:12 am
the only thing missing – an eiry moon
Lol
May 10, 2010 at 8:08 am
didn’t forget….its appears in the Jackal
May 6, 2010 at 9:42 am
My dear Peter,
We started a new story this week, help us finish it? I am TAGGING YOU.. please go to Wordy Wednesday @Tara Miller Writes to write the next 1-3 lines to a story yet told! Once you have done that, please TAG others too. Happy Thursday. hugs shakira
May 6, 2010 at 7:30 pm
http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/05/yes-i-can-handle-it.html
my post for the Poets’ Rally is here.
thanks for reading it.
May 6, 2010 at 7:30 pm
check your spam box…
thank you for the support.
May 10, 2010 at 11:39 am
Although I don’t read poetry often, I must admit that I am overwhelmed at the sheer flair that you evoke emotion from the deepest of my psyche.
Are you a fan of Iron Maiden? Waiting to see you come out as a full fledged poet,
May 10, 2010 at 1:55 pm
Hi Amiya & thanks for popping over and reading it…if you liked this the next piece, The Jackal, has now been published so please read that too.
Glad its intensity had an effect…..cheers Pete