Cinders Path

She wandered to the waters edge
As tears fell down her sullen cheeks
And as a frog would gently croak
A kiss was far from in her reach
As Cinders swept a dirty floor
Of trampled mud from sisters who
Would want for this & shout for that
Her dreams were washed in soiled gloom
And birds would sing on window sills
As mice would strive to clean all ills
But apples bite would taste so sour
As spindles jab destroyed her hour
And so she slept away from pain
Within her fragile, glass domain
Whilst others cursed at wasted youth
That lay so still in tranquil peace
As knights would ride & pass on by
In search of love to fight their deeds
Yet place a kiss upon her lips
Was all it took to waken thee
But Cinders part had long been played
As caution rode on thickened paths
And as the weeds encircled time
Alone she stayed bereft of love…………….
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62 Responses to “Cinders Path”

  1. This poem is so beautifully said and done. Enjoyed reading it as every line flowed from beginning to end.

  2. Clever Poem with vivid image. You put the message and intent of the Poem clearly Man. This is tight. Cheers!

  3. Hi Emmanuel and many thanks for your praise. I’m glad you thought it tight, the last two lines look me over two hours to get right!!!! Dedication eh!!! regards Pete

  4. Once again you talent for writing has shone through

  5. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Glynn Young, Pete Marshall. Pete Marshall said: Cinders Path: http://wp.me/pSxdi-55 […]

  6. Joe Suzz Says:

    the last two lines were amazing. it ended beautifully.

  7. moondustwriter Says:

    and so the fairy tale ending is no more for poor Cinder

    nice my friend

  8. betifully done!
    pete, you are gifted!

  9. This is simply gorgeous. you gave a new look to snowwhite’s story.

  10. Christine ramsay Says:

    This is a wondeful take on the Cinderella story. You have a great talent.

    Christine

  11. Nicely written poem, love it 🙂

  12. waystationone Says:

    oh dude this is sad…bereft of love, i would not want to be…

  13. […] Also, I am to nominate a poet. This week I choose Pete Marshall. You can read his rally poem at: https://petemarshall1.wordpress.com/2010/05/25/cinders-path/ […]

  14. kyoichi Says:

    i’ve always liked fairytales, even up to now. and it’s very rare that i find poetry based on them that i like.

    I like this one 😀

    -kyogakura

  15. Well done- I loved the flow and the images that flew for me while reading it..

  16. Pete,

    Very nice weaving of fairy tales elements:

    And birds would sing on window sills
    As mice would strive to clean all ills
    But apples bite would taste so sour
    As spindles jab destroyed her hour

    Thanks for your kind comments on my site.

    Rhyme on!

    Tim Keeton
    (Undead)Poet / Wizard / Teller-of-tales

  17. nailed with great talent .well done Pete.

  18. When I read this a thousand pictures crossed my mind. Pure artistry!

  19. What a great post! Hope you’re ok, this had so much resonance I could really relate 🙂 Sorry I haven’t been here for a while, home is an issue LOL. Welsh hugs Pete!

  20. You took this fairytale to new levels…of poem of great sadness. Kudos to you on an excellent poem filled with image and emotion.

  21. aawww…seems like a take on Cinderella/sleeping beauty and other princesses rolled into one…
    if so it has come out sooo well.. im spellbound 😀

    Im here from Jingle’s Rally
    you can view my poem at
    http://megzone.wordpress.com/2010/05/27/thursday-poets-rally-penta-cinquains-seasons/

  22. hey very nice work.

  23. pete you are a prolific writer, the work that went into this post amazes me, superb 🙂

  24. mairmusic Says:

    I love the fairytale re-telling, with the feel of an early bard. Nicely written!
    http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

  25. Very clever the way you tied the fairy tales together. Loved the imagery, loved the flow, loved the bit of sadness felt. Great writing!

  26. Love the imagery this invokes in me –very descriptive use of words in a very beautiful way.

    Joanny

    came by jingle today

  27. Your 2 hours of work for two last lines was worth it. I too loved the ending. A bittersweet life and weeds encircling time. Wow. Beautiful take on fairy tale love. Popped by from Ji’s rally

    • thanks, seems silly doesn’t it, two hours to write two lines but i must have binned a 1000 words!!!!!LOL but that’s the point you dont give it up till it feel right!!!

  28. I liked the fairy tale motif.

  29. Moeed's Diary Says:

    such a deep title……profound thinking……..what a rhym…..impressed me alot….!!!

  30. sparrowsong Says:

    life is no fairy tale, indeed.

  31. wow…….great……..lovely concept………..!!!!

  32. Another great poem. It is so rich with feeling and imagery–very moving!!

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