It’s so easy to feel embittered, to want to point the finger of blame at someone, to feel as if the world has done you an injustice, to look at what others have got but before that comes self-doubt. Why me? What have I done in my life that is so bad that this is happening to me? What have my family done for this to happen to them? You start to question your own self-worth & it can fester. The more you let it fester the more it brings you down, and being negative in a situation like this helps no one.
I went through this stage & at times I still do. You may smile everyday but still the self-doubt sits inside.
For now I will leave you with my poem “Left To Drift” which was written during one of these moments;
Left To Drift
Storms of oblivion cloud my mind
As I battle to moor my inner conscience
Life was once an abundance of hope
Defeated & beaten by reckless dreams.
Embittered storms that ravage seas
Darkened clouds that strike with fear
With lowered heads we fight in vain
But waters always find a flaw.
–
Deep inside and further down
Visions of guilt burn through my mind
Release the pain in a barge of gold
But left to sail these waters alone.
Confused I wait upon my berth
Entangled doubts that weave my mind
Careless I drift alone and forlorn
As I battle the waves that engulf my soul.
–
Thursdays child was marked from birth
But shoes of stone have held him back
In a struggle of life that ponders deep
Where waters flow and never cease
Desperate times bring wish well friends
Brazen words and reckless deeds
Consume a passion that passes time
Yet plates lay bare & casks run dry.
Did I mention bitterness? Well maybe I shall dwell on that in a future Blog!
Pete Marshall 